Love has to be one of the most wonderful and complex emotions. It comes so easy when it is with children & pets, why is it so difficult to cultivate love when it comes to grown ups ?
Love does not dominate, it cultivates ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The silent treatment, the need to dominate, the passive-aggressive jab, or the aggressive-aggressive interrogation- you name it, grown ups are equipped with the best of them. What with busy lives, bloated ego’s & the tech advances in communication we are distancing ourselves from real meaningful relationships .
Cultivating & caring for those meaningful connections is important to nurture our soul and for our emotional well being.
Listed below are some of the ways to practice healthy loving relationships, which we can practice each day in our lives
Do you want to improve the quality of your life ? What are some of the best ways you can feel happier, healthier, more organized and accomplished?
The answer is to adopt some simple daily habits.
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A list of 8 practices we can undertake to learn to cultivate love (sometimes even to survive among difficult people )
- Love yourself first. This probably is one of the most unspoken rule.It might come as a shock to those of us who grew up with low self esteem or putting others first always.We might even think it is rude to feel that way (what with all the grooming we received to be martyrs in life in our growing up years!). Somewhere along the way, if we haven’t caught the message yet, life will teach us in a rude way to learn to love ourselves first, coz only then we can maintain healthy boundaries in any relationship we have.
- Learn to marvel at others attributes genuinely, coz we all come with our own gifts. The energy around people who are appreciative feels lighter & brighter. Be one of them and recognize when you see it in another.
- Try to walk through the world with an attitude of calm warmth that remains steady, regardless of how others greet or treat you.That said, there are people out there who would threaten or provoke you. Learn to recognize the energy vampires & maintain your distance. Your peace is more important than someone else’s ignorance. Take a deep breath, walk away with no explanations. You don’t owe anyone anything.People only believe what they want to believe.Save yourself the time & energy.
- Remind yourself each day that you are worthy of love & affection. Do not let anyone treat you otherwise.Be the same to others.Give & take respect, nothing less !
- Look people in the eye & ask about their day.How many of us do that today ?We share flood relief messages, animal rescue stories & endless other things on the social media, not that they are any less important. But, how many of us have asked a dear friend if they are happy & how they are feeling? Connectedness happens when we care, not by the number of likes you get for a social post. Here is a beautiful quote from my favorite author & teacher of all times, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard & valued; when they can give and receive without judgement: and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship”~Brené Brown
- Be nonjudgemental. We all function from the level of what we know best then. Like Maya Angelou the poet writes so beautifully in her lines, “When we know better, we do better!”.Don’t ignore bad behavior in your quest to be nonjudgemental, observe impartially & remove yourself from the situation when it does not align with your values.
- The healing power of touch is both a social and a spiritual act.Reason why hugging is the most heart warming act of love to show you care.It is a sign that you care about someone enough to get in their space, and to allow them into yours as well. In yogic terms they call it the opening of “heart chakra” when you hug another. Exercise it whenever you think the other person could do with a hug or ask for it when you need one & the one in front is either shy or clueless ! 😉 😀
- Did you know that, There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story ? We all have our inner battles, not all scars are visible. Practice kindness .Show genuine empathy for others struggles, coz life could change in a moment.Learn the difference between what empathy & sympathy really means in this beautiful video by Dr. Brene Brown
“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.” ~Corinthians 13.4
What are the some ways you practice to cultivate love in your life ? What has worked for you and what hasn’t? Go on share some love and kindness today!